Yeah, yeah. I can trust you; you can trust me. I can be loyal to you, be honest with you, and you do the same with me. But in a year, I’ll still cut you off…or worse yet we break down until we fall off.
Why is it that the typical qualities that are supposed to hold people together aren’t always solid? Love, respect, patience, and loyalty. They’re great, but do they always fix everything?
Of course nothing fixes everything, but still, here’s my point.
I’ve come to realize that the most important things in a friendship are knowing each other and trusting that knowledge of each other. I, like many others, have heard about friendships ending because of silliness and misunderstandings.
‘But they loved each other.’ ‘And they cared for each other.’ Yeah, but they didn’t truly know each other. When you know someone, you don’t automatically judge them. Because you’ve picked up on their tendencies, you know that they probably didn’t mean it in a bad way, or their phone must’ve died, or they must’ve had a really good reason to cancel. It’s similar to being perceptive, but it’s more specific to that person’s habits.
Let’s set some examples.
1. Ashley and Tim are close friends. All week, Ashley has been mentioning that she wants to check out a new burger joint with him, but they haven’t had a chance do so. When they’re finally both free on Saturday, Tim spends his day with a group of friends at an aquarium. When he tells Ashley, she feels neglected and jealous. Although she can close herself off or call Tim out for not having her in mind, she knows that he couldn’t have had any intentions to offend her and doesn’t doubt it; and with that, Ashley lets it go.
2. Rease has a locker at school. His close friend, Jon, knows his lock code too. One day, Jon goes to his locker to get his bag of popcorn but discovers it missing. His immediate thought is that someone must’ve taken it. Jon must’ve taken it!… But wait. Rease knows, and is sure, that Jon always asks before taking something; he wouldn’t just steal. When Rease gets to class and takes his books out to get ready, he realizes the popcorn bag was in his backpack. Oops.
These aren’t the deepest of scenarios, but they show that the smallest of things can introduce bitterness and create distance between people over time.
Takeaways
As you see, simply knowing someone’s character can prevent things from going south as the troubled person tries to step back and analyze their situation without only focusing on their feelings, as well as thinking about the other person’s perspective.
It’s not about blindly defending the other person’s every move, but about trying to see things as they are.
As mentioned in the beginning, love, respect, patience, and loyalty are great, but when tied in with insight they remind us of the value that person and that relationship holds. When we truly know someone, and trust that knowledge, we can navigate even the toughest challenges with ease.
So, invest time in getting to know your friends so you can watch your friendships grow; not fall. ( ◜‿◝ )♡
I'm On Break 